That Way for a Reason

Below is one of my favorite quotes ever:

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight ~ but never stop fighting!" -e.e. cummings

I’ve always felt like I march to the beat of a different drummer…
…I’m a contrarian.
I like to do my own thing, I don’t like to be told what to do (though I’ve never ever been rebellious), I’m certainly my own person, I don’t like to follow the crowd, and I don’t like to be copied.
I’ve always been like that. Always.

Yet I feel that the world is constantly trying to mold me and craft me into what it wants me to be.

You know those hard middle school years…when you feel like a huge dork 100% of the time? I tried just a little bit to fit in then… But trying to fit in was like trying to put a square peg in a round hole, and I quickly realized that it couldn’t be done.

I had to learn to love the things that made me different, even if those things seem strange (or however they seem) to others.
And through learning to love those things about myself over all of these years, I think I’ve also learned to really appreciate the differences in others.

As a society we are quick to want to focus on how we are all alike, and that’s not a bad thing to focus on if that’s what it takes for us to get beyond the small stuff and get to know the heart of someone. But is that really the only way we can embrace each other as humans?

In fact, the world even wants everyone to be alike. Why is that? Why do we try to conform and to get others to as well? Why is peer pressure such a problem? Why do we seek other’s approval so much? Why do we try to impress? Why don’t we passionately, but respectfully argue more? Why don’t we challenge each other to think for ourselves a little more? And when someone blindly states something as truth, why don’t we kindly ask them to back it up with facts? Why don’t I kindly ask them to?

I don’t want to live in a world where we all look the same, act the same, talk the same, think the same.

As a society, why can’t we acknowledge that we are all different, yet “wonderfully made”?
Embrace the differences.
Celebrate the differences.
Enjoy the differences.
Find the good in the differences.
And talk openly and honestly about the differences.

I get the whole “finding the common ground” thing, I guess…
…OK, I guess I don’t get it!!!!
We are supposed to love others just because they are created in the image of God, not because they are like us.
While I’ll admit that is it more fun to be close friends with people who like to do the same things as I do and, those details shouldn’t matter when it comes to treating others well, showing respect, and appreciating them as people who are made by God.

Have you ever felt “not like yourself”? I absolutely adore singing in our church’s worship choir. It is an awesome, God-filled experience every time our voices join together. Oh, how I love it! We have to wear all black when we sing, and I couldn’t agree more with the reasoning behind it. It’s just that in doing so, I feel completely unlike me: colorful, LOTS of jewelry, a little on the eccentric side…yet there I have to blend in, which is something I’m not good at nor like to do.
And in choir I have to totally reign in the whole shoe thing. (Nothing is better than a great, sassy pair of shoes to make that black dress pop! But the plain black is required.)

Maybe you’re a sporty girl (which I have trouble even identifying with), and you live in tennis shoes and adidas pants. When you have to wear a dress and heels, if you even own any, you feel totally unlike yourself and can’t wait to change clothes!
Maybe you’re a little bit country (Marie) and someone else in your life is a little bit rock n’ roll (Donny) and they keep making you listen to their music…and it’s just not you.

You get the idea…

But I want to challenge you to start thinking about it in a new way:
Every cell in my body aches for me to be 100% of who I am…to be true to myself…regardless of how different that is from the next person.
And I believe that God made me like that for a reason.
He made you like you are for a reason, too.

I believe with my whole heart that each of us is put on this earth for a specific purpose. That particular purpose can only be lived out, that very legacy left, if we embrace what makes us uniquely us. We’re not supposed to be like anyone else. We’re supposed to reject conformity and cookie-cutter-ness!

If we try to be something we’re not, aren’t true to ourselves, or ignore what ignites our passion, we are defying God and the very reason he created us.

Song of Solomon 6:9: …my perfect one is unique…


It is our job and responsibility to embrace and develop who we are. To use our God-given talents. To work on ourselves so that we are continually improving. To speak about our obstacles. To go where our heart is truly leading us…for that feeling in our hearts that we can’t ignore is God speaking the calling upon our lives.

And I think it is our job and responsibility to realize that about other people, too.

This week a friend and I talked & emailed about her son, his ADD, and a less than helpful parent-teacher conference. It got me thinking about this very subject. All of us, with all of our hang-ups, all of our quirks, idiosyncrasies, baggage, and experiences are made the way we are for a reason.

It’s what we do with all of it that matters.

What I so badly want is for her son’s teacher to understand that while his ADD is a part of who he is, it is not WHO he is. He is wonderfully made, ADD and all, through a perfect formulation of skills and talents and passions and maybe even some quirks, so that one day he might fulfill the purpose for his life. The very one for which God created him. The one that no one else in the universe can fulfill but him. Her son is the way that he is for a reason. And he needs to be embraced at home, at school, and in society for that perfect combination, whether or not it includes ADD.

I want her son’s teacher to find every wonderful thing in that boy and let my friend know that while there may be some things to work through, she loves him for all of who he is. That is our job as teachers: to value every cell that knits that child together and then to take him as far emotionally, socially, and academically as he can go.

And as a parent, I know from experience what it feels like to have someone (even lots of people) make you feel like the only thing about your child is that “one thing”. What about my kid’s creativity, his problem solving ability, his insightfulness that is way beyond his years, his very dry and sarcastic humor, his leadership ability? Those are the things that really set him apart, that make him march to the beat of his own drummer. Those things matter so much more. And, my kid apparently needs that “one thing” to not only make him authentically who he is, but to live out the whole reason God created him in the first place. He’s that way for a reason.

Psalm 139:13-15 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Let’s help each other see our differences. Let’s appreciate them, acknowledge them, learn from them.
Let’s prosper and succeed, not in spite of them, but because of them.
Let’s realize that using the ways we are different is the only way we can glorify God in fulfilling His will for our lives.

After all, He’s made each of us unique for a reason and I love knowing that I’m the only me there is!

Question: What makes you YOU? What do you think God’s purpose was in creating you with the exact combination of characteristics that you have?

Salmon

Oh, how I love salmon. All grilled and seasoned, perfectly flaky inside with crispy edges. Served on a bed of rice with a slice of lemon. Prepared by some God-inspired chef, like Keltie. In fact, salmon is my third favorite food, right after cookie dough and crab legs. Oh, those three…like the holy trinity of dining! And when I eat salmon, I feel all healthy…you know, Omega 3’s and Vitamin D…good for the heart!

Salmon are fascinating creatures. They migrate, go away from home to “grow up”, then return to have their babies…coming home, in a way, like a prodigal son. They are adaptable to freshwater and saltwater, spending parts of their lives in both. 137 species of animals depend on salmon for food. Everything from wolves to bears prey on them.

Sometimes I feel like a salmon…

…A salmon swimming upstream, going against the current. Trying to stay all pure (not like the farmed salmon that aren’t so good for you to eat). Feeling like I’m getting preyed upon by a ferocious world. Hoping that I "feed" others with something that's good. Trying to be all bright and beautiful in a sea of grey and pessimism.

Today I was having trouble being where I wanted to be mentally. That’s not a problem I usually have because in “Alyssa Land” things are usually all rosy (or salmon-colored!), and good.

But today, not so much.

Maybe it’s that I haven’t really seen the sun for weeks. Maybe it’s that I need to deep-clean my house & I just don’t wanna. Maybe it’s those darn “holiday pounds” that I can’t shake (the cookies seemed worth it at the time). Maybe it’s that winter gray just isn’t my color. Or maybe it’s that lately I’ve had an extra dose of “these people just don’t get me”.

Whatever the reason I am fully in my January Funk.

It happens every year…39 years in a row now, so I shouldn’t be surprised. But on top of the January Funk, today I felt a little misunderstood. And as I looked around, I said to myself, “I feel like a salmon swimming up-stream!” Then I had to chuckle to myself… Of course I feel like that!

Maybe God even wants me to feel that way: constantly going against the current. Constantly feeling not-of-this-world, like I don’t belong. While I try to be adaptable, like a good salmon would be, I frequently feel misplaced…like I have migrated away into unknown waters, fighting to be a little piece of God’s light in a world so far away from Him that I’m not surely if he’s still recognizable.

In a strange way I think God calls us to be salmon, though it is hard to be constantly swimming against the current of a world running from Him, a world running to the things of popular culture and celebrity gossip and scandal. Sometimes that feels really lonely.

I think He calls us to be pure, like a salmon born and bred in God-made oceans and streams…away from the contamination of a salmon farm. Sometimes that feels really hard.

I think He calls us to swim fast, trying at every turn to escape the earthly things that prey on us. To navigate those hard moments by the instincts that He placed in us, to act on what we always knew was the right thing anyway. Sometimes that is really isolating.

But doing the things that make us feel lonely, that are hard, that isolate us from popular culture are sacrifices that are pleasing to God. Sacrifices made in His name bring joy to the very heart of God.

He wants us to be the salmon, and the only influences that pierce our hearts, His.

Romans 12:1-3: Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

My prayer for you, and for myself, is that we will continue to swim upstream, no matter how hard, in an attempt to please our Father in Heaven.

My prayer is that we will all find ourselves navigating this life with other believers, so that the lonely and isolated moments feel few and far between.

And my prayer is that we will never look at another plate of salmon in quite the same way, but that we’ll use it as a reminder that we need to forever nourish the body, mind, and soul with good things, pure things, healthful things, things that prepare us for an eternity in heaven.

So keep swimmin’ upstream, girls! I’ll be right there with you!

Question: When was the last time you felt like you were swimming upstream? Why? What was the result?