That Way for a Reason

Below is one of my favorite quotes ever:

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight ~ but never stop fighting!" -e.e. cummings

I’ve always felt like I march to the beat of a different drummer…
…I’m a contrarian.
I like to do my own thing, I don’t like to be told what to do (though I’ve never ever been rebellious), I’m certainly my own person, I don’t like to follow the crowd, and I don’t like to be copied.
I’ve always been like that. Always.

Yet I feel that the world is constantly trying to mold me and craft me into what it wants me to be.

You know those hard middle school years…when you feel like a huge dork 100% of the time? I tried just a little bit to fit in then… But trying to fit in was like trying to put a square peg in a round hole, and I quickly realized that it couldn’t be done.

I had to learn to love the things that made me different, even if those things seem strange (or however they seem) to others.
And through learning to love those things about myself over all of these years, I think I’ve also learned to really appreciate the differences in others.

As a society we are quick to want to focus on how we are all alike, and that’s not a bad thing to focus on if that’s what it takes for us to get beyond the small stuff and get to know the heart of someone. But is that really the only way we can embrace each other as humans?

In fact, the world even wants everyone to be alike. Why is that? Why do we try to conform and to get others to as well? Why is peer pressure such a problem? Why do we seek other’s approval so much? Why do we try to impress? Why don’t we passionately, but respectfully argue more? Why don’t we challenge each other to think for ourselves a little more? And when someone blindly states something as truth, why don’t we kindly ask them to back it up with facts? Why don’t I kindly ask them to?

I don’t want to live in a world where we all look the same, act the same, talk the same, think the same.

As a society, why can’t we acknowledge that we are all different, yet “wonderfully made”?
Embrace the differences.
Celebrate the differences.
Enjoy the differences.
Find the good in the differences.
And talk openly and honestly about the differences.

I get the whole “finding the common ground” thing, I guess…
…OK, I guess I don’t get it!!!!
We are supposed to love others just because they are created in the image of God, not because they are like us.
While I’ll admit that is it more fun to be close friends with people who like to do the same things as I do and, those details shouldn’t matter when it comes to treating others well, showing respect, and appreciating them as people who are made by God.

Have you ever felt “not like yourself”? I absolutely adore singing in our church’s worship choir. It is an awesome, God-filled experience every time our voices join together. Oh, how I love it! We have to wear all black when we sing, and I couldn’t agree more with the reasoning behind it. It’s just that in doing so, I feel completely unlike me: colorful, LOTS of jewelry, a little on the eccentric side…yet there I have to blend in, which is something I’m not good at nor like to do.
And in choir I have to totally reign in the whole shoe thing. (Nothing is better than a great, sassy pair of shoes to make that black dress pop! But the plain black is required.)

Maybe you’re a sporty girl (which I have trouble even identifying with), and you live in tennis shoes and adidas pants. When you have to wear a dress and heels, if you even own any, you feel totally unlike yourself and can’t wait to change clothes!
Maybe you’re a little bit country (Marie) and someone else in your life is a little bit rock n’ roll (Donny) and they keep making you listen to their music…and it’s just not you.

You get the idea…

But I want to challenge you to start thinking about it in a new way:
Every cell in my body aches for me to be 100% of who I am…to be true to myself…regardless of how different that is from the next person.
And I believe that God made me like that for a reason.
He made you like you are for a reason, too.

I believe with my whole heart that each of us is put on this earth for a specific purpose. That particular purpose can only be lived out, that very legacy left, if we embrace what makes us uniquely us. We’re not supposed to be like anyone else. We’re supposed to reject conformity and cookie-cutter-ness!

If we try to be something we’re not, aren’t true to ourselves, or ignore what ignites our passion, we are defying God and the very reason he created us.

Song of Solomon 6:9: …my perfect one is unique…


It is our job and responsibility to embrace and develop who we are. To use our God-given talents. To work on ourselves so that we are continually improving. To speak about our obstacles. To go where our heart is truly leading us…for that feeling in our hearts that we can’t ignore is God speaking the calling upon our lives.

And I think it is our job and responsibility to realize that about other people, too.

This week a friend and I talked & emailed about her son, his ADD, and a less than helpful parent-teacher conference. It got me thinking about this very subject. All of us, with all of our hang-ups, all of our quirks, idiosyncrasies, baggage, and experiences are made the way we are for a reason.

It’s what we do with all of it that matters.

What I so badly want is for her son’s teacher to understand that while his ADD is a part of who he is, it is not WHO he is. He is wonderfully made, ADD and all, through a perfect formulation of skills and talents and passions and maybe even some quirks, so that one day he might fulfill the purpose for his life. The very one for which God created him. The one that no one else in the universe can fulfill but him. Her son is the way that he is for a reason. And he needs to be embraced at home, at school, and in society for that perfect combination, whether or not it includes ADD.

I want her son’s teacher to find every wonderful thing in that boy and let my friend know that while there may be some things to work through, she loves him for all of who he is. That is our job as teachers: to value every cell that knits that child together and then to take him as far emotionally, socially, and academically as he can go.

And as a parent, I know from experience what it feels like to have someone (even lots of people) make you feel like the only thing about your child is that “one thing”. What about my kid’s creativity, his problem solving ability, his insightfulness that is way beyond his years, his very dry and sarcastic humor, his leadership ability? Those are the things that really set him apart, that make him march to the beat of his own drummer. Those things matter so much more. And, my kid apparently needs that “one thing” to not only make him authentically who he is, but to live out the whole reason God created him in the first place. He’s that way for a reason.

Psalm 139:13-15 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Let’s help each other see our differences. Let’s appreciate them, acknowledge them, learn from them.
Let’s prosper and succeed, not in spite of them, but because of them.
Let’s realize that using the ways we are different is the only way we can glorify God in fulfilling His will for our lives.

After all, He’s made each of us unique for a reason and I love knowing that I’m the only me there is!

Question: What makes you YOU? What do you think God’s purpose was in creating you with the exact combination of characteristics that you have?