Great...or Right

Great…or Right...

I’ve been praying a lot about a particular thing over the last several months. It’s something that causes me to need to surrender to God every single day. It’s something that I have no control over, at least not right now. It’s something that is really making me step out in faith on several levels. And it’s something that can easily overwhelm me, cause me worry, doubt, and even dread if I let it.

But prayer always calms me. Focuses me. Gets my head and heart back where it should be.

Yet I’ve realized that I haven’t been saying what I should say to God.

We know that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28), and I refer to this scripture and others like it often. I find that especially when I’m looking toward something that I’m anxious about, it helps to say something like: “God, I am trying hard to hear you and to follow what I believe is your will for me, and I know you have great things for me.”

Great things.

Something about reminding myself that God has great things for me makes me feel better. I know that He does have great things for me, and He does for you, too. His plan for us, as we follow Him and daily seek Him, His word, His will, is not for us to continually dwell in misery. (Romans 8:28, Psalm 37:4, Matt. 11:28, Phil. 4:6, just to cite a few.)

However, the truth is that sometimes we are going to endure something miserable – an event or a season in life that frankly doesn’t seem all that great (Romans 12:12 – “be patient in affliction”). Even without being actually miserable, there are plenty of things that I’ve encountered in my forty years that are unpleasant, dreaded, unsettling, difficult, stinky, horrid, and that I’ve wanted delivered straight up out of. And I continue to look toward some things at this very minute that I am just really unsure about, unsure if they’ll happen, if they’ll be good, if I’ll make it through.

Sometimes, some of the things God has for me – for each of us – just aren’t great. Especially at the time. But they are necessary for me to endure in order to become who God created me to be, necessary for me to endure in order to learn a lesson that I’ll need later, necessary for me to endure in order for me to prepare to live out the calling on my life.

And so I’ve decided that while I believe with all of my heart and soul that God does have great things for me eventually, first I need to experience the right things.

The right things.

My prayer is now this: “God, as I daily try to follow the path you’ve laid out for me, to live out the purpose that I was created for, to bring glory to your name, help me to surrender wholly to you. I trust that whatever I must encounter, pleasant or unpleasant, it will be the right thing to shape me into who you have created me to be. Help me to not lose sight of that and to have a heart and a mind that are open to you on every level.”

So in my quest to live out God’s purpose, in choosing great or right, I choose right.

I choose right.

Question: Which do you choose, great or right?

Waving the White Flag

If you know me well, or at least if you read my blog post from Dec. 31st last year, you know I’m not a big fan of New Year’s Eve. I haven’t actually figured out a good way to either explain or justify my disdain for the turn of the calendar except to say that I am just that sentimental. It doesn’t make sense, given that I am a really forward-looking, future-planning person. I’m complicated that way.

Yesterday I was telling my friend Lisa how my head was about to explode because I had spent the day being excessively introspective and analytical about 2009 and was trying to be much too detailed in my planning and laying down a strategy for success in 2010. Lisa laughed as she said she’s too laid back and doesn’t do that enough, and she suggested that she needed to learn more about that. But I actually think I have a lot to learn from her!

One of my goals for 2010 is to spend more time doing some things that I love and miss like being crafty. In searching for some clever ideas, I came across Stephanie Ackerman’s blog, http://www.homegrownhospitality.typepad.com/ . If you are a crafter, you’ll love it! Stephanie has a great idea: word of the year.

I want my word to be significant to the journey I anticipate in 2010 and significant to me as a person. Even better, I want it to be significant to my walk with Christ…A word that I’ll look at, think about, and study continually.

My word for 2010 is surrender.

If you’ve only thought about the secular meaning of it, and haven’t thought much about it in the context of The Kingdom of God, the word surrender can have a negative connotation. However, our surrendering is not only a demonstration of our faith, it also pleases God. It just happens to be really, really hard for us highly type-A chicks who like to take charge of everything and everyone! But in the Kingdom Context surrender doesn’t mean give UP and throw in the towel. In this case it means to give IN and follow Christ, trusting that He is fully in control.

God’s been teaching me a lot about surrender for what seems like years. Apparently I am in the remedial surrender course, & I don’t make the progress He’d like – still trying to control things myself- or I’d have this lesson down by now! But I realize this about myself, and am ready to take it on…I need to take it on.

Matthew 10:39: He that finds his life shall lose it: and he that loses his life for my sake shall find it.

I’ll have to contemplate the word surrender daily and meditate on it to remind myself that I am waving the white flag and allowing God to take total control.

So, I surrender 2009 and my fear of the unknown in 2010.
I surrender my need to do it all. (I believe God calls us to be excellent in all we do…so I’ll do less, but do it excellently and for Him.)
I surrender my need to control.
I surrender my angst about the car (post coming about this).
I surrender the 529, 403B, and all the others (2009 was not kind to our investments!).
I surrender trying to achieve balance.
I surrender school.
I surrender my business.
I surrender my time, my money, my talent.
I surrender my desire to serve where I see the need in order to follow Him where He connects me to the need that only He can see.
I surrender to following His nudges.
I surrender to Him…
I…surrender…

And so here I am, waving that white flag to signal the crossing of the finish line for 2009 and the ushering in of 2010, and I’m giving it all over to God. Every last bit. For when we are willing to become powerless in His name is the exact moment that we gain the ability to accomplish His goals, by His power, for His glory.

And that’s all I’ve ever wanted.

Question: What will your word for 2010 be? Why is that word significant to you?