What Is Love?

My husband’s grandfather passed away several years ago, but that man was one huge character! He was a big tease and when Chad and I were dating, he was relentless! Every time we visited Chad’s grandparents I knew the question was coming:

“What IS luuvvvv?”

He drew out the word love, almost adding a little southern drawl to it…and then looked us point blank in the eye. Waiting. Waiting, apparently, for our brilliant answer. Which we never quite had.

It's not that I didn’t know it, at least in part back then. It’s just that I couldn’t quite articulate it at age 17 as Pete (as we called him) was sitting still as a statue, boring a hole in me with his stare, smiling broadly, eyes dancing, full of fire and mischief that you wouldn’t expect from someone Pete’s age.

But after dating Chad for 6 years and being married to him for 16 and a half more, I think it is time to formally answer that question.

So Pete, here goes… “What IS luuvv?”…

Love is how Chad starts my car in the morning so it will be warm.
Love is calling me from Target to see if I want the maxi’s with or without wings. I mean, seriously…that is love!
Love is eating what I cook, no matter how interesting it is.
Love is trying to understand each other’s sensitivities…and trying to avoid saying things that will twist the knife in the heart.
Love is giving each other space when needed.
Love is being together when desired.
And love is knowing the difference.
Love is supporting each other’s dreams without judgment.
Love is believing in each other’s goals and ideas, and not thinking they’re crazy… no matter how crazy!
Love is comforting me when I am having a melt down about piles of laundry and piles of mail and piles of dog hair…all on a “fat day”.
Love is feeling protected, safe, and cared for.
Love is being listened to and understood.
Love is laughing together…
…And sometimes, gently, helping me laugh at myself. Gently.
Love is forgiving and forgetting.
Love is upholding the vow.
Upholding it during the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. Knowing that the vow is so rock solid that you can safely be 100% of who you are…safely pour your heart out.
Love is putting each other first. Even when it’s not easy. When it’s not convenient. When it’s not fun.
Love is being aware when one of us needs the pep-talk, but also knowing when one of us needs to just wallow in it. And holding each other regardless.
Love is accepting each other’s faults.
Love is celebrating each other’s brilliance.
Love is recognizing the uniqueness that we each bring to the relationship.
Love is deciding over and over again to move forward on the path of life together.
Love is being able to trust because he always does what he says and says what he does.
Love is watching the children that we’ve created together grow.
Love is appreciating each other and not taking each other for granted….ever.

If you think of snippy little comments as small flames, love is how Chad “throws water” on those flames whenever I’m snippy by being nice in return, instead of seeing my snippy-ness and raising me one to fan those flames into a full-blown fire! (That’s one of the biggest secrets to our marriage, I think! We are masters at defusing.)

And love is knowing that out of everyone on earth…all these years later…I still choose him because of the man that he is.

I still choose him.

And I thank God for that love.

Question: How would you answer Pete’s question, “What IS luuvv?”