My husband’s grandfather passed away several years ago, but that man was one huge character! He was a big tease and when Chad and I were dating, he was relentless! Every time we visited Chad’s grandparents I knew the question was coming:
“What IS luuvvvv?”
He drew out the word love, almost adding a little southern drawl to it…and then looked us point blank in the eye. Waiting. Waiting, apparently, for our brilliant answer. Which we never quite had.
It's not that I didn’t know it, at least in part back then. It’s just that I couldn’t quite articulate it at age 17 as Pete (as we called him) was sitting still as a statue, boring a hole in me with his stare, smiling broadly, eyes dancing, full of fire and mischief that you wouldn’t expect from someone Pete’s age.
But after dating Chad for 6 years and being married to him for 16 and a half more, I think it is time to formally answer that question.
So Pete, here goes… “What IS luuvv?”…
Love is how Chad starts my car in the morning so it will be warm.
Love is calling me from Target to see if I want the maxi’s with or without wings. I mean, seriously…that is love!
Love is eating what I cook, no matter how interesting it is.
Love is trying to understand each other’s sensitivities…and trying to avoid saying things that will twist the knife in the heart.
Love is giving each other space when needed.
Love is being together when desired.
And love is knowing the difference.
Love is supporting each other’s dreams without judgment.
Love is believing in each other’s goals and ideas, and not thinking they’re crazy… no matter how crazy!
Love is comforting me when I am having a melt down about piles of laundry and piles of mail and piles of dog hair…all on a “fat day”.
Love is feeling protected, safe, and cared for.
Love is being listened to and understood.
Love is laughing together…
…And sometimes, gently, helping me laugh at myself. Gently.
Love is forgiving and forgetting.
Love is upholding the vow.
Upholding it during the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. Knowing that the vow is so rock solid that you can safely be 100% of who you are…safely pour your heart out.
Love is putting each other first. Even when it’s not easy. When it’s not convenient. When it’s not fun.
Love is being aware when one of us needs the pep-talk, but also knowing when one of us needs to just wallow in it. And holding each other regardless.
Love is accepting each other’s faults.
Love is celebrating each other’s brilliance.
Love is recognizing the uniqueness that we each bring to the relationship.
Love is deciding over and over again to move forward on the path of life together.
Love is being able to trust because he always does what he says and says what he does.
Love is watching the children that we’ve created together grow.
Love is appreciating each other and not taking each other for granted….ever.
If you think of snippy little comments as small flames, love is how Chad “throws water” on those flames whenever I’m snippy by being nice in return, instead of seeing my snippy-ness and raising me one to fan those flames into a full-blown fire! (That’s one of the biggest secrets to our marriage, I think! We are masters at defusing.)
And love is knowing that out of everyone on earth…all these years later…I still choose him because of the man that he is.
I still choose him.
And I thank God for that love.
Question: How would you answer Pete’s question, “What IS luuvv?”
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Fear
I have noticed lately that a lot of people seem to be running with fear.
Fear about the economy. Fear about their jobs. Fear about their bank accounts, their children’s choices, their relationships…
Even the weather (while it is a snowy, cold mess) seems to strike more fear in people’s hearts than it normally would due to people’s heightened emotions.
There is a blanket of fear covering this world like a dark and heavy mass. And that fear seems to be penetrating into the very core of people’s lives. It’s a fear that is occupying their thoughts and holding them back from even the simplest activities and commitments.
And I have a feeling that God is sad about it.
Yes, there is certainly some roughness in the world right now. But if we give into it, then we lose. God loses.
However, if we stand up in faith, we win and God wins.
I invite you to step out in faith with me…just for a minute…and dream of a world without fear.
Might it look like this?
If I have no fear about my own financial situation, trusting God to provide, then I will dig into my pockets and give to my fellow hurting man.
If I have no fear about the economy, believing that God has it all under control, I will go ahead and buy what it is that I can afford and continue to stimulate the economy in my own small way.
If I have no fear about my own gifts and talents, trusting God to bless me as I use what He has given me, then I might find that now is the perfect time to try something new that I’ve always wanted to do (start a new business, sell my craft items, write that book I’ve always dreamed of, start a not-for-profit that really works hard to serve others).
If I have no fear in my relationships, I will listen to God as He nudges me and I will act on those urges to encourage and uplift someone else that I sense is hurting.
If I have no fear, always trusting that God is leading me, I will follow the tug of God. I will listen to God and answer back with the action that He hopes for. I will be open to stepping onto the path that He has laid for me. I will search out His will and follow it. I will not need to be afraid because I will know that He is carrying me, holding me, wrapped around me…sometimes with a light touch, and sometimes with a tight bear-hug-of-a-squeeze, but always there waiting for me and with me. Always.
God doesn’t want us to be afraid. He doesn’t want us to back away or to back down from the path that He is pushing us toward simply because we are scared. He wants us to take the risk and to trust Him through it.
Isaiah 43:1-3
But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
Consider your God-given purpose…do you know what it is? If not, I challenge you to really spend some time reflecting deeply about it in prayer. God has gifted you so that there is something specific that only you can do.
It could be something completely enormous and world-changing in one split second. Or it could be something more like mine: something simpler, recurring, not nearly as earth-shaking on the surface, but equally important.
But what if, because of all of the fear in the world right now, you start to buy in to being scared and you fail to live out that purpose.
You are letting yourself down.
More importantly, though, you are letting your God down.
What is standing in the way of you starting to live out your purpose right here, right now? What is holding you back?
Is it fear? Don't let fear hold you back! (Or busyness, or complacency, or doubt.)
When you run toward fear, what are you running from?
Helping others? Giving to church and charity? Using your talents, gifts, creativity? Lifting your voice? Living the dream that God placed in your heart? Living out the purpose that you were created for? Wow...What does that say to God?
Think about it....then decide that on your last day on this earth you won't say,
"I let fear get in the way of all I could have done and all I could have been".
Your greater purpose is waiting on you to stop being afraid!
Question: Are you living out your God-given purpose? Are you afraid? Of what? Why?
Fear about the economy. Fear about their jobs. Fear about their bank accounts, their children’s choices, their relationships…
Even the weather (while it is a snowy, cold mess) seems to strike more fear in people’s hearts than it normally would due to people’s heightened emotions.
There is a blanket of fear covering this world like a dark and heavy mass. And that fear seems to be penetrating into the very core of people’s lives. It’s a fear that is occupying their thoughts and holding them back from even the simplest activities and commitments.
And I have a feeling that God is sad about it.
Yes, there is certainly some roughness in the world right now. But if we give into it, then we lose. God loses.
However, if we stand up in faith, we win and God wins.
I invite you to step out in faith with me…just for a minute…and dream of a world without fear.
Might it look like this?
If I have no fear about my own financial situation, trusting God to provide, then I will dig into my pockets and give to my fellow hurting man.
If I have no fear about the economy, believing that God has it all under control, I will go ahead and buy what it is that I can afford and continue to stimulate the economy in my own small way.
If I have no fear about my own gifts and talents, trusting God to bless me as I use what He has given me, then I might find that now is the perfect time to try something new that I’ve always wanted to do (start a new business, sell my craft items, write that book I’ve always dreamed of, start a not-for-profit that really works hard to serve others).
If I have no fear in my relationships, I will listen to God as He nudges me and I will act on those urges to encourage and uplift someone else that I sense is hurting.
If I have no fear, always trusting that God is leading me, I will follow the tug of God. I will listen to God and answer back with the action that He hopes for. I will be open to stepping onto the path that He has laid for me. I will search out His will and follow it. I will not need to be afraid because I will know that He is carrying me, holding me, wrapped around me…sometimes with a light touch, and sometimes with a tight bear-hug-of-a-squeeze, but always there waiting for me and with me. Always.
God doesn’t want us to be afraid. He doesn’t want us to back away or to back down from the path that He is pushing us toward simply because we are scared. He wants us to take the risk and to trust Him through it.
Isaiah 43:1-3
But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
Consider your God-given purpose…do you know what it is? If not, I challenge you to really spend some time reflecting deeply about it in prayer. God has gifted you so that there is something specific that only you can do.
It could be something completely enormous and world-changing in one split second. Or it could be something more like mine: something simpler, recurring, not nearly as earth-shaking on the surface, but equally important.
But what if, because of all of the fear in the world right now, you start to buy in to being scared and you fail to live out that purpose.
You are letting yourself down.
More importantly, though, you are letting your God down.
What is standing in the way of you starting to live out your purpose right here, right now? What is holding you back?
Is it fear? Don't let fear hold you back! (Or busyness, or complacency, or doubt.)
When you run toward fear, what are you running from?
Helping others? Giving to church and charity? Using your talents, gifts, creativity? Lifting your voice? Living the dream that God placed in your heart? Living out the purpose that you were created for? Wow...What does that say to God?
Think about it....then decide that on your last day on this earth you won't say,
"I let fear get in the way of all I could have done and all I could have been".
Your greater purpose is waiting on you to stop being afraid!
Question: Are you living out your God-given purpose? Are you afraid? Of what? Why?
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